I absolutely love September! Even though it signifies the end of summer (which I love), and is the first step in the transition to winter (which I hate), it always feels like a new beginning to me. Perhaps this is because the new school year always started in September - new clothes, new school supplies, new friends... In New England, the weather this time of year is beautiful. Sure, we can have the occassional rainy days, but for the most part, September skies are blue and filled with sunshine, the air is dry, cool and crisp, and the leaves on the trees begin to transition from lush green, to a beautiful autumn rainbow.
For year, each September after I graduated from college, I longed to return to school. I missed my roommates, friends and the easy pace that came along with college days. I realized recently though, that somewhere along the way, I no longer miss those days as I used to. I remember everything fondly, but those memories don't have the same effect on me that they used to.
Perhaps this is because I am so happy in my here and now. While being a working parent and spouse can be stressful, I enjoy the hours after work and the weekends so much, that I feel incredibly lucky to be living this life. I remember, as a little girl, wondering what my life would look like when I was a "grown up". And now I know...at least I know what it looks like today. And I love it!
So, while I no longer miss my school days, what I am missing this September is being pregnant. Lil' Monkey was born last October, so by this time last year, I was 8 months into my pregnancy. The world as I knew it was changing rapidly, but I just had such an incredible sense of excitement and hope. I miss those days. I miss knowing that Lil' Monkey was with me everywhere I went. I miss wondering what he would be like...how he would look, what his personality would be like. I miss riding in the car with my husband, excitingly placing his hand on my belly, so he, too, could feel the baby moving. Getting to know Lil' Monkey after his arrival and being able to hold him in my arms is, by far, the most wonderful experience I've ever had. But this time of year makes me miss having an inside baby. I hope to get to experience pregnancy again at some point, but I can't help but wonder whether subsequent pregnancies will ever compare to the excitement of the first one.
This September, I am going to savor every moment of 1st birthday party planning, because I know, several Septembers from now (which are likely to arrive all too quickly) as Lil' Monkey becomes a child, teenager, adult, I will miss having a baby to plan parties for.
And so I am off, to create invitations and choose a theme for my baby's big day!
